Where does the battle between pink and blue begin....

...in the boardroom or in our living rooms?

I was not unlike many Mom's today; tired, hung-over from too much sugar and left wondering why, oh why, my daughter choose to be a princess for Halloween.

Now please don't misunderstand me, I am not disappointed in my daughter, but I am disappointed in what the perception of being a "pretty little princess" means to her and her female counterparts.

Okay, she's three years old, counterparts is bit much...

One might say "Oh, that's just a phase all little girls go through..."

Is it, or do we put them through it?

The fact is, I work with female executives everyday who are in the corporate battlefields of pink and blue. Women who are constantly working harder, stronger and longer in hopes of gaining membership into "the boys club" not because they actually want membership, but they want respect (and to make the same money as their male counterparts - it works here.....) Yet, from the very beginning, we dress our girls in flowers and frills and our boys in blue and superman capes and wonder why a confidence gap (and title and salary gap) are so apparent later on in life.

Have we done this to ourselves, or have our parents, and now our wants as parents for our little girls to be "sugar and spice and everything nice" doomed them to never get the corner office?

Statistics from Catalyst tell us that only 14.4% of Executive Officer positions are held by women.

And my guess is none of them look like Barbie....

Peggy Orenstein is a journalist, author and mother of a little girl. Orenstein has built her career on examining issues of lack of self esteem in adolescent girls (Schoolgirls,) the impossible decisions a women needs to make in order to have a family and a career (Flux) and more recently her research into the "princess mania" her commentary on what she calls "the new girlie-girl culture" in Cinderella Ate My Daughter.

She references a 2006 survey of more than 2,000 school aged girls. She states their repeated desire to be "perfect; to get straight A's, be student body president, editor of the newspaper, and captain of the swim team but also to be "kind and caring...." "Instead of feeling greater latitude and choice in how to be female - which is what one would hope - they now feel they must not only "have it all" but be it all. Cinderella and Supergirl. Aggressive and agreeable. Smart and stunning. Does that make them the beneficiaries of new opportunities or victims of a massive con job?"

Listen, marketing works on me, so I understand intimately the mass machine that is marketing.

My only question is why isn't there more costumes of Betty Friedman, Gloria Steinman or Sojourner Truth?

Well, maybe next year...

Best,
Shoana

Trust Yourself....

I've recently made a big decision. True to my nature, I researched, asked questions, did subtle surveys on anyone who would entertain my insanity and daydreamed to find clarity.

Once I came to my final decision, I was satisfied. I had done my due diligence, tapped into "moi," and made the phone call.

When I started to share my "big step" with others, I didn't exactly get the response I was hoping for. In fact I got a rolodex of responses all related to "You're crazy!"

That may be true, but I think there is something about taking a risk that keeps life interesting.

And there is something definitely interesting about taking a risk in a presentation.

"Taking a risk" and "Seizing the day" isn't a novel idea. Many-a-fridge-magnet offer the same recycled advice, usually posted beside a kitten hanging from a rope advising all who reads it to "Hang in there...."

So when I heard what my ears didn't want to hear, I froze. My feelings of happiness and satisfaction quickly dissipated. My internal feeling of a cool, clear waterfall was replaced with a bag of screaming cats. I panicked. I started to doubt myself.

What had I done?

What was I thinking?

Many of my clients recite the same reaction when feeling well prepared, but getting a look of confusion or discontent from an audience member. All of the sudden, we forget to trust ourselves.

I spoke to an MBA class at Schulich last week. It's fairly typical that I hear the same questions around how to control presentation nerves, engaging your audiences, or handling difficult questions. I'm happy to answer and discuss whatever is important to the crowd. That day I heard a question I hadn't ever heard, and I liked it.

A hand popped up and a gentleman asked "Is it okay to take a risk in a presentation?"

To which I immediately said "Yes! But it must be a calculated risk."

Let me explain....

Know Your Audience - Again, not new information, but this is an aspect you need to carefully consider. If you are amongst a rather conservative crowd, then folks, just stick to the facts. Speak the language of your audience. Meet them where they're at and you'll make a stronger and more immediate connection. If you think there is room for some "creative control" then take that risk.

But bear in mind a couple of things....

Preface it - If you have decided that your audience can handle something off script or not planned then give them a warning in way of a preface that will soften the landing. "I"m going to share something personal; are you okay with that?'

Be Accountable - If all goes well, the crowd will be receptive but there is always the chance that the risk was too much. In that case, you have to accept that "it didn't go well." The law of averages says that some risks will create a greater connection, make an impact and make you a memorable speaker, and sometimes it won't! But that's no reason to not try again.

My speaking style, and the style I like to build in my clients is real and authentic. From what my clients tell me, they appreciate how to find a stronger style, while still being "real." More and more audiences are hungry for senior folks to share something honest, something personal, and to take a risk. Corporate peer pressure has convinced all of us to doubt ourselves when we walk in to a boardroom without a PowerPoint deck.

Sometimes PowerPoint is necessary and very effective. Many times, it isn't.

Want to step out on the edge? Take a risk? Remember the above before you do.

For me, I love taking calculated risks in my presentations. Yes, on occasion it hasn't worked, but most times is does.

And that's enough reason for me to keep going for it.

Best,
Shoana

A Dreamer Has Died....

Steve Jobs has left his mark on the evolution of technology; has redefined brand to mean more than an icon, but a brand experience and left the world hanging on each word with his simple, humble and powerful communications skills.

A black turtleneck and blue jeans never looked so good...

The Intention Behind the Eyes

A couple of weeks ago I was heading downtown for a string of meetings when I became witness to how intention behind the eyes can tell a story.

Living in Toronto, you either have a car and embrace traffic at all hours or you get on your walking shoes and embrace the people traffic on public transit. We are a one-car family so I am of the latter. I love to people watch; to wonder where everyone are going; wonder if they are looking forward to their day or if they had a spat with their spouse on the way out the door.

Most times I climb on the subway, access karma to find a seat and get lost in a book. That day I sat across from young love. Although it could be argued that these two weren’t chronologically young, their love most certainly was. They sat and laughed playing footsy while their fingers danced in the palm of each other’s hands. It was sweet. I couldn’t look away, until I decided best I did before I creeped them out.

Within a few stops a women got on. She was beautiful. She was tall, well dressed and walked with a purpose. She quickly sat down in the same space as the couple. I looked at her. She had the kind of presence that made you look. She didn’t notice me; I’m sure she didn’t notice anyone. I quickly looked back at the couple. By this time the women had dropped her eyes to her knees. She was quiet and still.

The man slowly put his hand on her knee and she looked up. Although I am completely interpreting what happened next, I also know with absolute certainty I am right. He looked at her with a soft gaze as if to say “There is no one more beautiful than you and I never want to look away.”

She smiled and took his hand. Her expression showed an embarrassment for having thought he would have eyes for anyone else. She laughed to herself and put her head on his shoulder and the dance resumed.

We have always been told that communications is an exchange of information. Although that may be true, it is also an exchange of emotion; not only with family and friends but also with our colleagues at work and in the boardroom. The intention behind our eyes sends a silent message of comfort, confidence or intimidation. The key to this intention is being present and decisive about what message you are delivering and how you want others to feel as you’re speaking.

Make no mistake this isn’t just “soft stuff.” In my work coaching executives at every level I see how honest human moments of insecurity weaken a message, kill credibility and send the most confident into a tailspin. There is nothing wrong with having those honest moments. Yet, the reality is eye contact is our first connection; our first opportunity to make an impression and create a feeling. If we don't use these moments with clarity and intention, they become a series of lost opportunities.

In way of a public service announcement of sorts, I would like to introduce myself, Shoana Prasad and my company, Glenwood Consulting Group Inc., to everyone and anyone would cares to tune in. I am a communications consultant helping corporate clients find their presentation and communications style whether in one-on-one communications, in the boardroom or in formal presentations. I work with clients across all industries including finance, oil and gas, publishing, pharmaceutical, tobacco, packaged goods, entertainment etc. My work is to help my clients define their messages, understand their audiences and connect to never be forgotten.

I suppose in a less defined way, I see myself as a director of people, builder of confidence and cheerleader for the under-dog.

Glenwood Consulting Group Inc. offers three layers of counsel;

#1 Presentation training with groups and/or departments.

#2 One-on-One Executive Coaching which varies anywhere from helping nervous speakers find a new level of comfort, to linear thinkers who need to deliver meaning to a non-linear audience, to increasing executive presence in the boardroom, to a rehearsal with a CEO for a keynote address....and any number of countless scenarios in between.

#3 Executive Branding, which is a process I’ve created to help executives understand in concrete terms what their value-add is to become a more defined asset to their department, company and industry. Essentially, executive branding is similar to personal branding but specific to executives.

Welcome to my first blog post. I’ll share my love for all things communication. Although my work with clients is confidential and that is never compromised, there is always a bigger message or learning I can share in hopes it might help you too. To date the majority of my work is helping my clients find mastery in oral delivery. Now I understand my reach is much broader. The way each of us communicates isn’t just on the surface; it’s not just about controlling others perception of us; it has everything to do with our personal beliefs, our faith in our material and our ability to deliver it with sincerity and credibility. Thus, I have developed an Executive Branding process to help executives build their brand through communications.

I hope you pop in now and again. Send it along if you think others in your circles might find value in my posts. I’d appreciate that. 

All the best, 

Shoana